Qualifications

My boss had to write a letter of recommendation for me, to get me into a workshop. He dragged his feet for a while and then eventually admitted he wasn't going to get around to it and asked me to 'draft' it myself.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't even read the whole thing before sending it on. Things I considered including:

• Damon once climbed a skyscraper with one hand tied behind his back
• Damon is highly accurate with his eye-lasers at a range of 150m
• Damon cannot be harmed except by weapons made from cheese
• Damon is one-quarter badger, on his father's side 

I lack the self-destructive streak necessary to do any of that, so I sent him a straight letter. A few minutes after I sent him the draft he emailed me to tell me he'd sent the letter off, so I was pretty sure he hadn't read it. Next time he stopped by my office, I tried to mess with him:

"Hey, did you like my zinger in that draft?"

"What zinger?"

"You know, in that draft recommendation letter."

"Yeah, what do you mean?"

"'Damon can shoot lasers out of his eyes'. You saw that, right? You deleted it?"

"No."

"Seriously, you sent on a letter to the university that had the sentence 'Damon can shoot lasers out of his eyes?!'"

<shrug> "Well, I edited the letter a bit, so maybe, maybe not."

He bought it hook-line-sinker, but he didn't care. Stone cold unflappable.